


Feelings

by orphan_account



Series: Older than God [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:59:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a dream in which a beautiful woman appears. This woman makes him face his true feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me as I think how Dean is so very closed up inside.

Dean was leaning back on a tree watching a couple of kids play at the park in front of him. He blinked, then blinked in surprise. He was in a different place entirely. A strange girl was standing in front of him.

She couldn't be more than sixteen. At least in her body, her eyes looked a thousand years old. It made her look ageless. She wore a flowing white gown and looked quite angelic. Well, at least a normal persons idea of angelic. She had grass green eyes and was quite tall. She had blonde hair with brown streaks. It was obviously changing naturally.

"Hello." Her voice sounded like silk. "Welcome."

"Where am I? Is this a dream?" Dean asked.

"This is a dream if you want it to be. But all dreams are real somewhere. What is here is real. What I am going to say to you is real."

"And what is it you want to tell me?"

"Tell? I'm not going to tell you anything. I'm going to 'tell' you nothing you don't already know."

"Than whats the point of bringing me here? If I know whats the point?"

"Because, you know but won't admit it. That's why I'm here. So you will face the truth. Face what's deep in your heart. What only one person has told you."

"Who? I've been told lot's of things. Wait. Are you a friggin angel? Barging into my dreams to tell me something important that will save the world but cause great losses, blah blah blah."

She laughed a bell laugh. "I'm not going to tell you what to do. My mother has already told me everything that will happen, no matter what my li- God dictated. She will not interfere or tell you what to do. It's against her policy. She will let you do what you want."

"Who is she?"

"You will meet her eventually. Not today."

"That's no answer."

"That's because today is not for me or her. It's for you."

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

She replied my walking up and pressing a hand to his chest. She closed her eyes and had a look that seemed to be listening. "Your soul is crying Dean. It betrays your face or attitude. You are sad Dean."

"What do you mean sad?"

"I don't know. You tell me. Why would your soul be crying in a way only my mother my siblings or I could sense it?"

"Because- why would I tell you?"

"Because despite all your hunter instinct, your soul would always follow me or my mother. Any of my siblings too, but especially me or my mother. She always said I gained her sensitivity. That's why I'm here. Now tell, why is your soul crying. And why would you deny it."

"Who was the one who pointed it out?"

"Famine. In a way he was wrong and in a way he was right. You are not dead inside, you've just given up."

"Okay. What is it to you that I admit anything?"

"Nothing. But you will laugh and joke and make sarcastic comment but most of the time it's barely genuine. You are trying to convince people you're fine when inside you are crying so loud I'm surprised the angels can't here you."

"I'm fine."

"You can't be. Your brother died. You gave up everything and went to Hell, then after ten years of torturing you are dragged back to the land of the living. Then your brother becomes addicted to Demon blood and leaves you, then doesn't listen. Then you find out your best friend died. Then he comes back. Then your best friend is killed again then brought back. Then your brother says yes to Lucifer, and Lucifer kills your best friend again and your brother drags him into Hell and your friend is brought back. You've been betrayed-"

"FINE! You want me to admit that that after everything the one thing I can't do is share how bad it is. I came back from Hell and they were still affected by my death that the last thing I could do is tell them I remembered. I was dragged back into hunting after living with Ben and Lisa, I couldn't tell them that I didn't care. All I cared was that they were safe. Could I admit that I can't have an apple pie life because the only thing that keeps me going is that I'm helping people? After everything that hunting has done to my family, I can't leave it. I can't because it's my life. I've killed all my life and if I don't have anything to keep me tethered down, I would kill myself. It would kill me. If I can't hunt what else can I do to keep me from thinking about how much my life sucks. How I should be in a mental hospital after all I've done. It should have driven me crazy. And you know what? If I didn't have hunting itself to concentrate on I would go crazy from all my regrets."

He gave a great sigh and glared at her.

She was smiling. "See what I mean. Inside you are crying. You are sad knowing that hunting is all that keeps you alive. You fought my questions because if you admit that you are so sad you might go crazy. And you know what? It's justified. But you know what else? You are literally the best hunter that has ever lived. Not sure about will ever live though.

" She looked up and for a second her hair literally glowed gold. "I need to go.Think about what you said. Don't think about what you shouldn't have said. Think about the words and feelings themselves. Goodbye. I will see you again."

"Wait! I don't even know who you are."

"You may call me Space. Sleep well Dean Winchester." She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "That is to hide my visit from your angel."

"Why would you hide it? Wait, what do you mean _my_  angel?"

"An unknown signature, especially one as strong as mine would cause a bit of head turning. I like to keep a low profile. Tell no one about me Stone Heart."

"What do you mean 'Stone Heart'?"

"My mother deemed it as the best name for you. Your heart is encased in stone that only light air can pass through it. Now, you must sleep." This time she touched his head and everything went black.

***

Dean woke up from the best sleep he had had in years.He got up and and went to make some breakfast for Sam and Cas. They didn't notice his more satisfied manner.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfic so please tell me what you think. I was going to do a different one (I'll post it later) but I decided to do a short one as my first.


End file.
